Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Divine Miss M

So, today I found out that one of my technicians, M, had kind of an interesting weekend.

M is a slender girl, tall and fair and nearly always cheerful. She has a gentle nature and is both industrious and generous of spirit, always willing to help out. While I'm sure she holds her opinions, she's not particularly in-your-face outspoken or pushy, and is typically polite, friendly and possessed of good sportsmanship. She's very good at her job, but she has many other skills as well, amongst which we must include marksmanship of various descriptions. This manifests itself in myriad kinds of shooting... including pool.

Now, M is competitive in the pool arena. She belongs to a team and competes with them, and she and her cronies meet up at sundry local bars for a game a couple of times a week. This weekend, M was playing at a local watering hole that isn't her most usual haunt. However, any pool table is home territory for her, and with her usual skill she took a victory over one of the patrons. Evidently he wasn't very happy about this; apparently he didn't like being whupped by a girl. Maybe especially a pretty, slender, fine-boned girl, who looks about 16, and one who (being engaged) isn't likely to be interested on a romantic level.

M was on her way to her truck when something hit her from behind, spinning her around and knocking her to the ground. She looks up to see her vanquished opponent leaping upon her, evidently intent on revenge, and she reacts instinctively, driving the heel of her hand toward his face. Alcohol was probably a factor in his decision-making; adrenaline was certainly a factor in hers.

There follows a bit of blood and confusion, culminating in the cops turning up and taking statements. The statement most often repeated by M's pool opponent was "She broke my nose! She broke my #%*&@ nose!"

Huh. You got whupped by a girl twice. How about that?

See, in my opinion, this is exactly what you deserve if you're cowardly enough to make a blind-side attack on someone smaller than you are. Kind of seems fitting for someone so ego-weak that they can't handle losing a game.... and someone pathetic enough to be spurred to violence by the idea of being beaten by a girl. And then to whine about the broken nose thus acquired, as if it is all someone else's fault, and none of it due to your own stupid decisions.

It's true what the bumper sticker says: Alaska girls DO kick ass. Sometimes more literally than others.


Bill Fosher said...

While I can't imagine having my ego bruised badly enough to think that it was sensible to physically attack someone, I do know what it's like to be whupped by a girl.

I should have known something was up when Lisa challenged me to arm wrestle Jessica. Lisa was then (and I presume still is) an imp of the first order.

But I'm a strong guy. I pitch hay, I handle sheep. Jessica's a little slip of a thing -- wiry and strong herself, to be sure -- but I am, shall we say, not wiry. I figure just my ballast is somehow going to give me an advantage.

Imagine my surprise when I find my wrist three inches above the table before "Go!" is fully out of Lisa's mouth. I hover there, realizing that at this point if Jessica's strength is anything other than a quick reaction time, I am toast.

And I am. Eventually the tricep give ups, and in less than 15 seconds, a girl has crushed me. Her face is red from the exertion, and she compliments me on putting up a good struggle.

"Most guys I can just put down. You at least stopped me on the way down. That takes some strength," she says.

I did, however briefly, feel like smacking her one for that remark.

I buy the next round or beers.

MaskedMan said...

Sometimes, people get what they deserve.

And sometimes, people completely fail to absorb the lesson, engendering an almost certain repeat of said lesson.

My guess? Mr. "Hero" is going to be a remedial student.

goatgirl said...

My personal favorite...Alaska, where men are men...and women win the Iditarod!

Pat said...

Go Miss M! While I have never been accosted from behind, that is most certainly the reaction I would like to think I would have in such a situation. Bravo!

AKDD said...

See, I think it's unmasculine to be so weenie that you can't man-up and buy the next round if some chick beats you at pool. Or arm wrestling, whichever. So Bill gets ten man-points for being a man, and Pool Boy loses 100 for being drunk, stupid, cowardly, and (BTW) breaking the law.

Kinda think MM is right and that he's going to need this lesson at least once more.

Meanwhile, AK girls STILL kick ass! As a card-carrying member of the sororoity of BGOTN (Bad Girls of the North (tm)*), I gotta say: We can race with the big dogs (or the little fast ones!) M is a prime example.... when she's not hunting, fishing, shooting pool or working, she's renovating buildings with her fiancee`.

* Bad Girls of the North is a local buisness that makes T-shirts, coffee mugs, etc. Anyone who IS a BGOTN immediately recognizes this on seeing the logo for the first time.

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Why she is tough enough to be an honorary Texan even. She knows when to open her can of whoop-ass! ;)
The Texas Sun Dogs

AKDD said...

M is originally from Montana. Evidently they rear 'em tough in MT, if they're tough enough to be honorary Texans!

Holly said...

Miss M you rock.

Individuals like Stoopid Drunk Dude keep me employed so I have some experience with them. He's probably lower on the natural selection list and will need multiple reminders as his Stoopid Friends will probably egg him on next time.

AKDD said...

If guys like that keep you employed, you must have an interesting life...!